Keith Strudler: The Downside Of Being Happy

NFL athletes, you can now celebrate. I mean literally, you’re allowed to celebrate now. The NFL has just changed the rules that have shackled players for too long, rules that have made scoring a touchdown feel too much like touring a cemetery. Prior to this momentous rules change, players who scored a touchdown could not have choreographed, excessive, or prolonged celebrations. They also couldn’t spike or spin the ball, fall to the ground, or use any props – the ball or otherwise.

But with a stroke of Commissioner Roger Goodell’s pen, this repressive era is over. Well, mostly. Now, when NFL athletes score a touchdown, they’re allowed to use the football as a prop, celebrate collectively, and roll around on the ground. In other words, football players are now given the same freedoms offered a nine-month-old child when handed a small toy. Now, there is no official ruling whether players can also put the football in their mouth, but I’m sure someone will test that.

Now, this doesn’t mean a player can do anything in the end zone. They can’t be offensive, delay the game, or taunt an opponent. That leaves out simulating a weapon, which I think is a good thing, and apparently twerking, which I’ll leave to your judgement. But if someone wants to drop to the turf and do sit ups, go ahead. Create a new, short, dance, that’s fine. Really, the options are only limited by the athlete’s imagination. Which, in the past, we’ve seen can be quite extensive.

Some might suggest that the NFL’s history is simply a series of intricate celebratory dance moves. For example, Billy White Shoes Johnson used to do something of a chicken dance in the 70’s for the Houston Oilers. Terrell Owens seemingly did whatever came into his head at the time when he scored. Washington had a group celebration dance thing called the Fun Bunch. The 90’s era Atlanta Falcons had the Dirty Bird. And still my favorite of all time, Saints wide receiver Joe Horn once hid a cell phone under the goal post so he could take a celebratory phone call after a score. I don’t know if, under the new rules, athletes will be allowed to hide and later use props to celebrate, but God I hope so.

The NFL has stood in contrast to some other sports that privileges revelry. For example, I believe soccer is 25% actual soccer, 25% faking injuries, and 50% running around crazy and taking your shirt off after a goal. Baseball, on the other hand, is even more repressive than football. They don’t even need rules, because if you even dare to run too slow after a home run, the pitcher’s going to nail you with the ball next time up. So that’s not fun at all. Basketball celebrations can be tricky, because of the pace of the game. And in NASCAR, celebrations tend to involve spinning your tires after the race. Which seems fine, although bad for the car.

Fans – especially young fans – have been fairly critical of the NFL’s recent history of penalizing players who got a bit too happy after a score. It not only seemed fairly incongruous with the 80,000 screaming fans, but also made the game feel less fun. Hence, the No Fun League label for the NFL. Even though the “get off my lawn” crowd seemed fine with the law and order orientation, most everyone else didn’t. And it was just another thing they held against the already unpopular league commissioner.

So from a business perspective, I think this is a no brainer. As long as players keep it relatively short and fun, there’s not much risk. Given the number of pro athletes who have gone on Dancing with the Stars over the years, perhaps this is a natural evolution.

But let me say this, which will only affirm that I’m cranky. As much as I may enjoy watching pro athletes celebrate, there’s little I like less than watching 8 and 9 and 10-year-olds copy that behavior. I’ve sat through way more than my share of youth sporting events of all types, and I can’t stand watching kids spend more time and effort acknowledging their own greatness after a score than on the actual next play. It’s, and maybe I’m just getting too old, a bit too narcissistic for my tastes. Kids should play sports for its exuberance, not its accolades. And celebrating for an audience seems to ask for just that. It’s the visual for the phase “look at me.” So maybe, when pro athletes celebrate with such fervor, that might tell kids that sport isn’t about effort or execution or team or whatever makes it valuable enough to warrant a period a day in schools. It’s about attention. And that, perhaps, is the downside of choreographed, prolonged, or excessive celebrations in the NFL.

Now, the NFL is an entertainment business. Youth sports is not – or it shouldn’t be. So I’m hoping against hope that this new wave of pro football dancing doesn’t spread to the kids. That, more than anything, is something I could celebrate.

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