We are officially in the heart of college graduation season, with a whole bunch over the past several weeks and a full slate of big name colleges taking center stage this weekend.
And there are very few places that celebrate college grads more than Boston, home of what feels like half of the nation’s universities – the other half in Philly, of course. Which means that on any given May date in Beantown, you’re likely to see thousands of almost college grads and their families either celebrating or arguing – which is basically what graduation weekend is, a series of conflicts about where to eat and park the car. It is one of life’s great milestones and a moment that’s as important to parents as it is to the graduate themselves. It’s kind of like a wedding. It’s your day, but not entirely. So when your kids graduate, if physically possible, you want to be there.
That is what Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora believed when he attended his daughter’s graduation from Boston College on Monday. Cora along with relatives and friends went to the 10 a.m. graduation ceremony, followed by a day of all the festivities that are part of the ritual, which usually ends with dinner somewhere and the odd realization that college is actually over. What Alex Cora did not do was head across town to Fenway Park that evening to manage his team against the Mets, instead taking a vacation day and letting bench coach Ramón Vázquez handle lead duties for a game they won 3-1. In most normal worlds, someone taking a day of for their kid’s graduation is not big deal. In Boston Red Sox circles, not so much, as some fans and sports talk radio criticized his absence. One host said he’s essentially setting the example that things are more important than baseball games. Cora defended his decision the next day, saying that it was his daughter’s day and being there was part of his purpose in life. Not too much has gone beyond that back and forth, other than a decent number of fans suggesting he take the rest of the season off given the team’s lukewarm performance over the first 50 games.
It may have gotten lost in the shuffle, but one point Cora did make, or at least allude to, is the fact that he’s missed a lot during his daughter’s childhood, essentially a byproduct of life in professional sports. He mentioned his divorce and how much of the parenting responsibility his ex-wife took on while he was doing his job, which involves nearly 200 games a year, half of them on the road and most of them at night. So it’s not like Cora spent a bunch of evenings at band concerts or science expos at the high school. Which probably made this day, not part of it but all of it, more important than it might have been otherwise. Think of it as making up for lost time.
From a basic, human perspective, I don’t understand why anyone has a problem with Cora taking a night off for one of the most meaningful days in his daughter’s life. That’s even without addressing the reality that baseball managers don’t really do much. So it’s not like he’s Vince Lombardi coaching the Packers in a Super Bowl. Perhaps more pointedly, I do believe the exception here proves the rule. The fact that it’s such a big deal that Alex Cora missed one game for something other than a medical emergency speaks to how invasive the life of pro sports coaching really is. And yes, that is why they get paid obscene sums of money – or at least part of why.
But maybe the most salient point, or at least the most relatable, is how we balance similar quandaries in our own lives. I’m not comparing myself to a Major League GM, but I can make a considerable spread sheet of family events I’ve skipped for work, or something similar. Some of them were pretty mandatory. Others, probably not as much, although it’s hard to say. And I’m not suggesting I’d make a different decision if starting over. I’m simply saying that Alex Cora showed that life can go on without him, even if only for one night. And to be clear, if this were, say, the World Series, I’m guessing he would have found his way to Fenway somewhere between the processional and first pitch. There’s a time and season for everything, I guess. And right now, it’s for graduation.
Keith Strudler is the Dean of the School of Communication and Media at Montclair State University. You can follow him at @KeithStrudler.
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