Family members, colleagues and friends across western Massachusetts continue to mourn the loss of Emma MacDonald – a mother and University of Massachusetts Amherst worker who was killed not far from where she worked.
A warning, this story contains mentions of domestic violence.
As the weight of her absence continues to be felt, well-over 200 UMass Amherst colleagues and friends joined the family of Emma MacDonald for a solemn gathering Wednesday, as many continue to grieve following her death a week ago.
“Listen to yourself: allow yourselves to grieve. Grieving does not mean forgetting,” said UMass Amherst employee Nick Chavez Wednesday. “Grieving is a process of healing that looks different for everybody. There are no weaknesses and feelings we care. We see your pain, and we are here to support you.”
While student activity continued only a stone’s throw away, silence filled the plaza just outside the UMass Campus Center Hotel, surrounding a memorial that’s grown steadily ever since last week’s news broke.
“… every time you see a butterfly, just know that she's near,” said her cousin, Mya Bennis. “Thank you everyone for coming today and showing her all the support for us and her daughter.”
As many recalled, the 31-year-old mother was a loving, friendly mainstay on the university’s dining team, overseeing catering and dining services across the massive campus, where her husband, Jeffrey MacDonald, has worked as a chef.
Hers was a life cut far too short, many said at the vigil.
Jeffrey MacDonald, her husband and a chef at the university, stands accused of killing Emma in an on-campus hotel room on April 22 - something court documents indicate he admitted to while in custody, before later pleading not guilty.
It’s led to questions online and on campus of what could have been done, as well as greater awareness of domestic violence in general.
On Wednesday though, the focus was on Emma: a supervisor who often went above and beyond to celebrate her colleagues, said fellow employee Chiruza Muhimuzi.
“To many of us, Emma felt like a mother figure. She encouraged us, protected us and made us feel like we all matter. She was always a loving mother to her young daughter and that same love, she showed everyone,” he said. “This is heartbreaking. Emma did not deserve this. We need justice. We need justice, and we need to make sure this never happen to anyone else. Emma's life matters deeply, her memory will always live with us.”
One by one, individuals shared their memories of Emma, who many choose to refer to by her maiden name, "Pasterczyk."
At times, a long line rounded the circle of attendees to place flowers at the memorial loaded with pictures, candles and at least one stuffed dachshund.
A former colleague, who asked only to be identified as Andy, described a figure capable of great empathy and care, shown best after he had just returned to work after the loss of his own sister.
“As soon as I came back, Emma was the first one to embrace me… and tell me ‘It’s going to be okay,’” he said. “A couple days later, I was her driver … catering to a party at the football field… and a ladybug happened to come on the windshield of the truck before we were pulling off the dock, and she said, ‘There's your sister’ because … my sister Renee… she was also about ladybugs…. it was just Emma's thing, to recognize when I was hurting, to cheer me up: that's what she did.”
Other stories ranged from Emma’s commitment to team members to her humor to her love of dogs, and of course, her 10-year-old daughter, Sadie, who shared a message that summed up what many expressed.
“I just wanted to say that I love you, and we all miss you so much,” she told the masses that had gathered.”
Another memorial vigil is scheduled for Tuesday, May 5 at 3 p.m. by the same campus center spot, according to the university.
As of April 30, a GoFundMe campaign devoted to supporting Emma’s family has nearly reached its goal.
