Limericks

Jul 20, 2019
Originally published on July 20, 2019 2:09 pm
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

But, first, is the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

JAMIE RIGULA: Hi, this Jamie Rigula (ph), and I'm from Salem, Ohio.

SAGAL: Salem, Ohio.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Forgive me for not knowing this, but how far is Salem from where we are in Cleveland or near Cleveland?

RIGULA: It's like an hour.

SAGAL: An hour away. And what do you do there in Salem?

RIGULA: Well, I work as a forester, but the dream is to be a stay-at-home cat mom.

MAEVE HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Wait a minute. You work as a forester. Isn't it usually the other way around, the people at home with their cats wish they could be out in the forest?

RIGULA: Maybe, but my cats are really great so.

SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jamie, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly of two limericks, you'll be a winner. All right, here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Pay attention, come close, take good care. Now, what do you see? Nothing there. H2O, CO2 and some magic will do. We have whipped up some food from thin...

RIGULA: Air.

SAGAL: Yes, thin air.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Finnish company claims they can make an edible protein using only carbon dioxide, water and electricity a - product currently known in the U.S. as La Croix.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The food - this food made of thin air has a consistency, they say, similar to wheat flour, which means you can finally gorge yourself on all the dry wheat flour you want guilt free.

MO ROCCA: So you're eating air.

SAGAL: Yeah, the idea is they say we can actually make food from air using electricity somehow creating edible proteins that gives you...

ROCCA: Oh, but it will actually be a solid.

SAGAL: Food that you eat. You know like - yeah.

ROCCA: It's not - you're just sitting - you're not just inhaling air.

SAGAL: Yeah, there'll be weird if that were the case. You'd be like, what are you trying to go on a diet? No breathing for me today, thanks, trying to lose a few pounds.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: That's what it sounds like. It sounds like a new LA diet food.

ROCCA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Yeah, I realized.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: This avian trend is absurd by Hitchcock this flock has been spurred. They dive-bomb for fun while I'm out on a run. I have just been attacked by a...

RIGULA: Bird.

SAGAL: Bird.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Birds are going crazy this summer - dive-bombing and stealing food out of people's hands. Red-winged blackbirds are the biggest aggressors attacking anyone who comes near their habitat. While these attacks might seem random, it is breeding season. The birds are really just saying, hey, knock next time or they should just hang a necktie on their nest knobs.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: They take time out of their, you know, lovemaking to bomb a person.

SAGAL: Yeah, apparently they're very protective of their nest during breeding season. There's also because the babies are there.

HIGGINS: Oh, the babies are made already.

SAGAL: Yeah, in some cases the babies are made so they're pretty very protective. All right, Jamie, here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: As Pottery Barn makes amends, Phoebe's wrath will now pay dividends. Soon you'll all run across chairs from Rachel and Ross. We sell furniture featured on...

RIGULA: Friends.

SAGAL: Yes, friends.

KURTIS: Friends.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Boy, you're good.

SAGAL: With the new "Friends"-inspired furniture line from Pottery Barn, you can spruce up your space with iconic living room pieces from the sitcom "Friends." You can get your Central Perk mugs, you can have Rachel’s coffee table, you can a bunch of lazy people lying around who somehow don't need jobs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "Friends," as you all know, is a television show that ended about 15 years ago. People still watch it because of the hilarious antics of Rachel, Ross, Niles, Roz, and "Frasier."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Turns out, there's a lot of this going around - a lot of stuff sponsored by TV shows. Pottery Barn is doing "Friends." Unfortunately for Sears, the "Chernobyl" furniture did not turn out so well.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I was wondering about "Orange Is The New Black" furniture.

SAGAL: Oh, boy. Bill, how did Jamie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Jamie's been waiting for it all her life, and it paid off with a perfect score.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Jamie.

RIGULA: Thanks.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.