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Could A Quokka Beat A Numbat? Oddsmakers Say Yes

One possible result in the Mighty Mini Mammals division of 2015's Mammal March Madness tournament. If the species that's seeded highest always wins its bracket, the fennec fox will beat out the rest of the division and advance to the final four.
Adam Cole
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NPR
One possible result in the Mighty Mini Mammals division of 2015's Mammal March Madness tournament. If the species that's seeded highest always wins its bracket, the fennec fox will beat out the rest of the division and advance to the final four.

It's March, and that means college basketball fans are gearing up for the NCAA tournament. But there's another tournament taking place this month — and animals aren't the mascots, they're the competitors.

"Mammal March Madness" is organized by a team of evolutionary biologists. They choose 65 animal competitors and then imagine the outcome of a series of simulated interspecies battles. Who would win if a kangaroo took on a warthog? Or if an orca fought a polar bear?

Harvard evolutionary biology professor Katie Hinde is the tournament's founder. In 2013, she came across a post about a tournament of animals on Buzzfeed titled "Animal March Madness."

"I was like, 'Oh, this is going to be great,' " Hinde says. "I loved watching the basketball March Madness tournament."

But she was disappointed by Buzzfeed's take.

"It was only 16 species — March Madness is 64," Hinde says. "And it was whichever species was the cutest. There's no science to that!"

So she pulled out her encyclopedia of mammals, created her own tournament and posted the bracket online.

This year's tournament features divisions with pygmy animals; mammals shaped by sexual selection; creatures from human folklore; and mammals from the International Union for the Conservation of Nature's <a href="http://www.iucnredlist.org/">list of threatened species</a>. Download this bracket, fill it out and follow your picks through the tournament. (We're rooting for the wolverine.)
Katie Hinde / http://mammalssuck.blogspot.com/2015/02/mammal-march-madness-2015.html
/
http://mammalssuck.blogspot.com/2015/02/mammal-march-madness-2015.html
This year's tournament features divisions with pygmy animals; mammals shaped by sexual selection; creatures from human folklore; and mammals from the International Union for the Conservation of Nature's list of threatened species. Download this bracket, fill it out and follow your picks through the tournament. (We're rooting for the wolverine.)

"Over the weekend it blew up," Hinde says.

So many people were excited about her animal Battle Royale that Hinde has organized a new tournament every year since. She and three colleagues dive deep into the scientific literature to assess each competitor's strengths and weaknesses: their body mass, fight style, armor, weaponry, temperament and ability to function in different environments.

Then they use all that information to invent a detailed play-by-play account of the entire tournament. Some chance is incorporated so, just like in basketball, there can be upsets.

All through March, they post transcripts of each matchup on Twitter (#2015MMM), complete with color commentary about each competitor's love life and favorite foods, as well as human threats to its survival.

"It's become this incredible vehicle for teaching about science, natural history and conservation," Hinde says.

The 11th-seeded Javan slow loris (left) will face the 6th-seeded Iberian lynx in Round 1 of this year's Mammal March Madness.
Dr. K.A.I. Nekaris / Programa de Conservación Ex-situ del Lince Ibérico
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Programa de Conservación Ex-situ del Lince Ibérico
The 11th-seeded Javan slow loris (left) will face the 6th-seeded Iberian lynx in Round 1 of this year's Mammal March Madness.

Last year thousands of people filled out brackets and followed the action; many formed betting pools. This year's lineup was announced on Tuesday. It's got some heavy hitters — like the elephant seal and a prehistoric beast called a Hell Pig — but there are some potential Cinderella stories, too. Take the Javan slow loris, an adorable, wide-eyed primate.

"He's a little guy ... but he packs a bite," Hinde says.

The loris coats its teeth with a noxious secretion from glands in its arms.

"So when it bites, it can actually trigger an allergic reaction," Hinde says, "and in some species, apparently, it can cause anaphylactic shock.

Could that secret weapon give the slow loris an advantage in the first round, when it faces the Iberian lynx? That would be an upset for the ages.


The first battle of Mammal March Madness (a wild card match between the pygmy jerboa and the bumblebee bat) takes place on Monday, March 9 — so fill out your bracket before then! You can follow NPR's coverage of the tournament at skunkbear.tumblr.com.

Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.